Domestic abuse and coercive control can have a profound and lasting impact on how we see ourselves, relate to others and feel about the world around us. The effects aren't always visible. You may find yourself questioning your judgement, losing confidence, feeling anxious or isolated, or no longer recognising the person you once were.
Abuse isn't always physical. It can be subtle and hidden behind closed doors, taking many forms, including:
💜 Gaslighting and being made to doubt your own reality.
💜 Constant criticism, humiliation and blame.
💜 Emotional manipulation and intimidation.
💜 Financial control or isolation from loved ones.
💜 Feeling you have to ask permission or constantly walk on eggshells.
💜 Being made to feel guilty for having feelings, needs or boundaries.
Sometimes, after experiencing prolonged emotional pressure, a person eventually reacts. Their anger, tears or frustration become the focus, while the behaviour that led to that moment is overlooked. It's important to look beyond the reaction and recognise the wider experience of what someone may have been living with for months or even years.
And leaving an abusive relationship doesn't always mean the impact of abuse ends.
You may continue to question your decisions, struggle to trust others, apologise unnecessarily or feel the need to justify your feelings. Rebuilding your confidence and sense of self can take time.
Therapy can offer a safe, compassionate and non judgemental space to begin making sense of your experiences. It isn't about being rushed into decisions or told what you should do. It's about being listened to, believed and supported at your own pace.
As an integrative counsellor and registered member of the BACP, I offer an individual approach, recognising that everyone's experiences and journey towards healing are different. Together, we can begin to rebuild trust in your own thoughts and feelings, reconnect with your identity and rediscover your sense of choice and self-worth.
Healing can mean learning that:
💜 Love should never make you feel afraid.
💜 Disagreements should never be met with punishment.
💜 Having boundaries doesn't make you difficult.
💜 Your feelings and needs matter.
💜 You deserve to be heard, respected and valued.
Whether you are currently experiencing coercive control, have recently left an abusive relationship or are beginning to understand the impact of past experiences, you don't have to navigate it alone. You don't need to have all the answers before reaching out.
Taking the first step can feel daunting, but therapy can be a place to begin feeling heard, understood and, in time, more like yourself again.
I offer in-person counselling in Lindfield, West Sussex, as well as online sessions across the UK. If you’d like to know more, feel free to get in touch via my homepage to book a free 20 minute consultation with me.
